Rico always placed his hand on my stomach and covered the tattoo with his forearm so he didn't have to see it. he used to tell me it was distracting, but he treated it as if it were temporary, like only paint on my skin. i guess he thought that if he showed enough distain it would go away.
but HIS mouth didn't avoid it, nor did it avoid my scars. i think he was trying to make me understand that they don't matter to him. it was a strange feeling. just skin cells, inked or scarred or whatever. and it made no difference to him. i wasn't being judged.
(sigh)
he kisses me with eyes open... i find it both arousing and intimidating. i feel like he can see INTO me... it makes me a little uncomfortable to be so open and vulnerable. but it was new, and kind of sensual... i could get used to it. it made me feel much closer to him, even though physically we couldn't have been any closer. does that make sense? the english language fails me once again.
we fell asleep together, even though it was half by accident, at least for me. waking up, i was extremely disoriented, but seeing him there comforted me. i trust him and i don't understand why. it's not that he's ever done anything to make me doubt him, it just takes a LOT for me to trust anyone. but trusting him is easy. and wanting to better myself for him is easy.
he's slowly re-writing my brain chemistry...
it was the most *right* i've felt in a long time.
...
in other news, i'm all done packing...
- Harvey Danger "Flagpole Sitta" -
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