01 April 2009

I kinda always knew...

MAJOR DRAMA / CRISIS ............ AVERTED! Three cheers to kicking a terrible, waste-of-time habit and getting some self respect back (and amusing the hell out of myself in the process). And a special, no-shit-I-really-mean-it-guys thanks to Angel and my V.I.P. for talking me down off the ledge. 

I feel so much fucking better now that I've said all the things I should have a long time ago. And I'm ok being hated now that I've said my peace - better to be hated than to get a phone call out of the blue 6 months from now, or a surprise visit at work, or an errant email wondering what's up. I don't care what you've been up to. I don't want to be your friend. No, we can't go get coffee. I'm so fucking done with the stupidity and feeling bad about feeling bad about wanting to feel better.

It was really telling yesterday - the bullshit was fucking choking me and I still couldn't bring myself to rage about it. Instead it was just sad and tiring. I just don't fucking care anymore. So go on, pilot a spacecraft to the moon, start cooking meth in your house, discover the cure for lung cancer, go off and die somewhere, whatever, I literally and seriously could give a fuck.

So with the weight finally off my chest, the circle has been closed, and I can't wipe this shit-eating grin off my fucking face.

"we keep repeating mistakes for souvenirs
and we've been in between the days for years"

- No Doubt "Ex-Girlfriend" -


Angel said...

You know I will always be there to talk you off of (or onto, if the situation requires) any ledge, ever. I'm glad you feel better about the sitch and yourself. You're too wonderful to be full of such angst.

ScooponthePoop said...

hey, do you ever read GIkate.com? i found it today. pretty good stuff.

Malibu Niki said...




Yeah, I found her page while surfing through the other milblogs I read. I actually went and read all of her old entries - pretty awesome stuff!

ScooponthePoop said...

I dont know if Meg told you, but we are thinking of using your Blog title as our unit motto.... we couldnt think of anything, and your title sounded perfect.... its better than LT's Idea of "Stack Skulls"

Malibu Niki said...


That is so cool that you guys like my blog title so much. Did you ever see my forearm tattoo? It says the same thing. Love it.

Stack skulls... LTD knows you all are PAO, right?

ScooponthePoop said...

I never saw your tat. The skulls thing... LT is going through this skull phase. I am getting some really high speed shirts made for the unit, having an updated version of the PA crest made... but LT wants skulls in the design too.... he = loser.