10 June 2009

got my whole life ahead; hell, I'm just a kid myself

So I was at the Acme this afternoon and saw a bunch of baby-things that were in the clearance section. I called my sister to see what she still needed (less than 2 weeks!!!) and she told me what colors, sizes she preferred.

On my way home, I was thinking about the cashier, who looked at the replacement valves for the spill-proof cups I'd also picked out and remarked that she had no idea what they were. I'd laughed and shrugged - I had no idea what they were either, they were just hanging next to the cups and the package said they were for them so I just grabbed some.

Yeah, they are little white snappy things that go into the lid of the cups. It had never occurred to me that those cups would have replaceable valves, much less that replaceable valves in kid cups even existed. The whole concept was foreign to me because it wasn't really my business. I saw the cups and valves and they were for babies and were brightly colored so I bought them.

So that was kind of sad to realize, that I knew nothing about something as trivial as baby cups (or toddler cups, really), and if it were not for my sister, they never would have even appeared on my radar. I just don't care enough on my own to learn.

I tell people all the time that I'm never having kids and I'm approximately 75% serious. But what if I don't even have any maternal instinct, what if I really shouldn't have kids, even if I wanted some. I mean, I can't even bring myself to try to understand the workings of a baby cup. I also have no idea how diapers go on, when is too young to let a baby use scissors, or what to do when a baby I'm holding starts crying/throwing up (generally I try to avoid holding babies to begin with - "Yes, your baby is adorable, I just don't want to touch it, smell it, or in general be near it.") I am going to have to get familiar with some of these things for my sister, but otherwise, would I even care?

Babies give me the willies.

"all he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke
so much for ditching this town and hanging out on the coast"

- Kenney Chesney "There Goes My Life" -


Angel said...

I think you should ask yourself WHY babies give you the willies. IS it because you're afraid you would accidentally hurt one? Honesy trust me, babies do NOT come with instructions - you should have seen me trying to change Spawns diaper all by myself the first time! And then when he was nursing 24/7 and still always seemed hungry so I gave him formula..which he turned out to be allergic to (I know, MY son allergic to a FOOD product, it's laughable)...and he pulled a Linda Blair & projectile vomited across the coffee table...or when he wriggled so much that I literally dropped him & caught him inches away from the floor - by the drawstring of his baby nightgown no less, there he was hanging like a bungee jumper. I can't tell you how terrified I was at any given moment...but I learned and every smile, every laugh, every moment erased all the stupid shit I did. Look at him now - texting you with random threats. If you're not 100 million percent sure that you don't want kids....you need to go inside yourself and ask yourself why. Now, while Tree is away (whom I had some lovely conversations with today, I might add) is a great time because you have no one there but YOURSELF.

Personally, I think you'd be a kick-ass mother...kinda like a Gwen Stefani type.

Malibu Niki said...

Yes (afraid to hurt them) but that's not all of it. In general I'm uneasy/yucked out. I just don't know what to do with them. I think once a kid was like 5 or 6 I would be ok. Up until then... o_O

I wish I'd met you when Patrick was younger. It sounded like a funny time.

And shit, if I told Tree right now that I'd have a baby, he'd being going AWOL from AT and would be on the next flight to NJ.

Angel said...

Oh yea, Patricks early childhood was a piss riot. It helped that he was so damned cute.

Honey NO ONE knows what to do with babies. You just learn as you go. Its a life altering thing, though - you give up your independence, your freedom - any & everything is now centered on that little life. For some people, its worth the sacrifice because it makes you immortal...for others, its not. I've known both types and I have nothing against either one...but you're the only one who can know for sure. Follow your heart & the rest will fall into place.

Hell, I'd DRIVE him to NJ.