you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

after the completion of the Basic Public Affairs Specialist - Writer course at the Defense Information School on Fort George G. Meade, Maryland... the last step of out processing, my last action as an IET soldier... my signature in the mythical *green book.*

i'd pictured thick, cream-colored pages bound in green leather with gold trim. in my mind, this book sat on a beautiful mahogany shelf, shrouded in a faint mist. and in the distance, the sound of angels playing harps.

the pac office yesterday, 1504: "you can sign the green book now. it's right there behind you," rebolledo said, gesturing vaguely over my shoulder.

turning around, i faced a dusty old filing cabinet with a plain black plastic shelving unit... and on top sat a warped green plastic three-ring folder. not even a book.

but i guess - as with all things, especially those at Student Company - you expect too much and you're bound to be disappointed. expect great things and you'll find nothing but a sham.

quite the appropriate way to depart Student Company.

USASSD, you shall be missed.

(sigh)

- Eagles "Hotel California" -

spend your lazy, endless crazy days inside my head

getting changed after PT and my shower this morning, i checked my phone twice for messages, text or other. there was only a voicemail from Rixo; NOT was i was looking for. so why did i look? (VIP) doesn't have a phone anymore. stupid. but i looked anyways.

later, planning for my feature photo shoot, i thought about going to the commissary to do my assignment... and then about what (VIP) was doing at the moment. tried to figure out a plan for lunch so we could eat together. thought about how i could spend time with him after school.

standing in formation, they were talking about linen turn in and LESs and shit that i didn't pay attention to. i was waiting to get to the computer rooms and onto AOL and talk to him.

left even though i probably shouldn't have, came back and got caught, didn't care. just passing time until 8, when i could get back on the computer and talk to him some more.

still haven't done my shoot...

- Good Charlotte "Motivation Proclamation" -

when I wake up in my makeup

ugh, another THRILLING day at Student Company. 22 days and a wake up... but who's counting?

it is most definitely a monday.

went for an ability-group run this morning, finally. the wind made it slightly uncomfortable, but not too bad. i actually enjoyed the run. at the 7:20 formation we had a *thorough* in-ranks inspection, and even that wasn't very painful. huh. the network was down at DINFOS so we had a two hour delay.. two hours spend with some pointless, time-wasting "training," then off to school. still, nothing earth shattering. went to the dental clinic for my photo shoot, finished that up in about an hour, went to lunch.

ah yes, lunch. the Squire was still in class at 11:30 so i walked to the chow hall alone, but he got there soon after i did. i wasn't very hungry so i had a salad (although i found the quality of lettuce to be unsatisfactory), and the Squire and i talked. i hate how immature he can be, because i know that's not the way he really is. it's just a facade, a mask he wears to keep people from getting too close to him. it's easier for him to hide than to try forming any kind of a meaningful relationship, i guess. and by relationship, i don't necessarily refer to the one violating article 92... i just want to be his friend. it frustrates me that he acts like such an arrogant prick when i know he's really not. i've SEEN how sweet he can be, how selfless and caring. but he has this dr. jekyl/mr. hyde personality that upsets me. one minute he's great and we're having a good time together, and then suddenly he's cold and distant and COMPETITIVE. ugh. that's probably the worst of his moods. does it really matter whose boots are shinier? has our relationship disintegrated that much that our conversations have been reduced to kiwi and neutral wax? WHO GIVES A SHIT? why can't we just talk like normal people??

but i don't care. i lose interest by the day. or, at least i keep telling myself that. 23 more days and i won't have to worry about his drama anymore.

so here i find myself neither pissed off nor elated. i'm just... here. waiting for the axe to fall, i guess. today has been suspiciously incident-free.

ha! maybe i'll start a counter, __ days incident free, like you see posted at construction sites or in factories, __ days accident free. that ought to be amusing.

- Hole "Celebrity Skin" -