09 February 2004

when I wake up in my makeup

ugh, another THRILLING day at Student Company. 22 days and a wake up... but who's counting?

it is most definitely a monday.

went for an ability-group run this morning, finally. the wind made it slightly uncomfortable, but not too bad. i actually enjoyed the run. at the 7:20 formation we had a *thorough* in-ranks inspection, and even that wasn't very painful. huh. the network was down at DINFOS so we had a two hour delay.. two hours spend with some pointless, time-wasting "training," then off to school. still, nothing earth shattering. went to the dental clinic for my photo shoot, finished that up in about an hour, went to lunch.

ah yes, lunch. the Squire was still in class at 11:30 so i walked to the chow hall alone, but he got there soon after i did. i wasn't very hungry so i had a salad (although i found the quality of lettuce to be unsatisfactory), and the Squire and i talked. i hate how immature he can be, because i know that's not the way he really is. it's just a facade, a mask he wears to keep people from getting too close to him. it's easier for him to hide than to try forming any kind of a meaningful relationship, i guess. and by relationship, i don't necessarily refer to the one violating article 92... i just want to be his friend. it frustrates me that he acts like such an arrogant prick when i know he's really not. i've SEEN how sweet he can be, how selfless and caring. but he has this dr. jekyl/mr. hyde personality that upsets me. one minute he's great and we're having a good time together, and then suddenly he's cold and distant and COMPETITIVE. ugh. that's probably the worst of his moods. does it really matter whose boots are shinier? has our relationship disintegrated that much that our conversations have been reduced to kiwi and neutral wax? WHO GIVES A SHIT? why can't we just talk like normal people??

but i don't care. i lose interest by the day. or, at least i keep telling myself that. 23 more days and i won't have to worry about his drama anymore.

so here i find myself neither pissed off nor elated. i'm just... here. waiting for the axe to fall, i guess. today has been suspiciously incident-free.

ha! maybe i'll start a counter, __ days incident free, like you see posted at construction sites or in factories, __ days accident free. that ought to be amusing.

- Hole "Celebrity Skin" -

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