19 May 2009

life in plastic, it's fantastic

So, I was four days late and I was starting to be like, fuck. I'd heard pregnancies are contagious (my sister is due in a little over a month) but come on, I don't even want one a little bit.

But then yesterday, first thing in the morning, the world was right again. :) Except now I want to carve my ovaries out with big knife. :(

Also, the stupid Dining Out is in just over two weeks, and I have to lose 10 lbs. Maybe just 5. But still. My dad is going to be my date so I'm sure he doesn't care either way, but I care, damnit. I want to be the prettiest princess at the ball.

The ice cream truck is on my street right now as I type this. Someone is smiting me.

This post sucks. :/

"I'm a blonde little girl
in a fantasy world"

- Aqua "Barbie Girl" -


Angel said...

I'm sorry - YOU have to lose weight? What do you weigh anyway, 75 lbs soaking well in full battle rattle? Please.....go eat a fucking creamsickle.

Please don't cut out your ovaries. Someday you might just change your mind and besides ~ think of the mess......

Malibu Niki said...

All the females are wearing their Class A skirts, so I can't be the only one in pants... and my booty is evidently a bit more, ahem, joyful, than it was when I was fitted for the stupid skirt in basic. It fits, but it's not going to be a very happy night, I'm afraid. Also, I maybe shouldn't have tried it on while having my period. It actually might turn out to be ok.

And I can always like buy a baby later on, right? Like Madonna and Angelina Jolie? Know any third world families that would trade their kid for a bag of rice? Or whatever. I'm flexible.

Meg said...

I don't really want to push one out myself either. Fist pump for the false alarm though!

I like that term, "joyful". My ass is going thru the exuberant stage itself.

Save yourself the trouble and purchase a more joyful skirt.

Angel said...

Yeah but it might take two bags of rice & custody of your garden gnome...

Never, EVER try on clothes while you're broken! Did I teach you nothing?

Malibu Niki said...


I know, the false alarm made me remember being in high school. Yikes. But yes, I expect the ass to win this battle. I'm going over to Clothing Sales next week to buy a new friggin skirt that I'll wear ONE TIME because they're phasing out the Class As in like a year and I don't anticipate wearing it again in that time, seeing as I made it almost 7 years without wearing it even once. Humph. (lol)


No one gets the gnome. I actually don't even have him yet myself. Maybe that's why all the new plants are lying on their sides like limp... :)

P.S. You both are hysterical and totally made my night. <3

Angel said...

Glad I could help brighten your life, Kitten. Now, go get the damned Gnome (I've already named him Charles in my mind) & water your limp plants. BTW - they will be limp for a little bit until their roots take hold...did I forget to mention that?

Anonymous said...

I am sure getting "fixed" will be less painful than carving your ovaries out. lol Although. I had the procedure and now after a year is causing me issues. I say give yourself time, you never know how you may feel about having a child. I'll stop here because as you can see I am crazy about kid's. lol

I think you look very pretty as you are. =) But it's understandable that you would want to lose a few pounds for a special occasion. Because I am sure you are not like those other females that end up making themselves look sickly. You will do it the right way. I hope to see photos. Take care!

Christina G