well I'm a waste like you, with nothing else to do

First day without the husband (he's away on training for a week).

This is what I planned to do today:

- vacuum large rug in great room and shake out small area rugs

- repaint toenails

- begin moving my crap out of my barracks room and into our house (it's only been 9 months, stop rushing me!)

- throw away dead flowers and pick/buy new ones for the kitchen table

- schedule a hair cut for later this week

- laundry (always)

- sweep out guest bathroom and wash tub

- open windows and let some breeze in

This is what I managed to do today:

- you're looking at it. :/

"why are you alone,
wasting your time
when you could be with me,
wasting your time"

- Green Day "Sassafras Roots" -

I'll start this off without any words

So... Tree left this afternoon for his two weeks of sitting around AT and already I'm lonely.

He went grocery shopping before he left and made sure the kitchen was stocked with things I can actually make (read: a lot of pasta), so that was nice. He also vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen until it sparkled (!!) and mowed the lawn. I looked around for a sweet note he might have left for me before he left, but no such luck. Ah, no one's perfect.

The next two weeks are going to suck.

Oh and it's raining monsooning and the Commander's Golf Cup that was supposed to be tomorrow has been cancelled (lost my excuse to wear a skirt to work!) and the stupid Dining Out is Saturday and the CPT talked me into driving to her house (an hour away) tomorrow night so we can go buy dresses at the outlets (30 more minutes away). Just what I wanted to do. "Oh but you can stay overnight at my house." Yeah, probably not.

I'm just a big complainer tonight, eh? But what the fuck, I'm entitled.

.....FINE. What else should we talk about?

Well, I rediscovered my love for The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. One of my cats excaped from the porch today and was joyously eating grass next to the garden when I found him. My dad is getting here the day after tomorrow. Last week I created a brochure for the brigade FRG because (a) I was bored and (b) they needed one and besides, (c) I have Adobe Creative Suite on my computer - this later turned into a huge fucking deal that I made the brochure and not the civilian who's the full time FRG person and she really got into trouble for not creating it herself even though (a) she never asked me to do it and (b) it was really no trouble at all... and I felt bad (but the brochure came out really cool and everyone loved it and I'm happy they are still going to use it).

The leftover burrito I had for dinner was superdelicious. One of my orchids died (I think). I'm totally ditching out on PT tomorrow. It's still raining (sounds kinda nice on the skylights).

And my nails are still perfect, in case you were wondering. :/

---

17 days until Tree gets home. :(

"I got so high, I scratched til I bled"

- Nirvana "On a Plain" -

life in plastic, it's fantastic

So, I was four days late and I was starting to be like, fuck. I'd heard pregnancies are contagious (my sister is due in a little over a month) but come on, I don't even want one a little bit.

But then yesterday, first thing in the morning, the world was right again. :) Except now I want to carve my ovaries out with big knife. :(

Also, the stupid Dining Out is in just over two weeks, and I have to lose 10 lbs. Maybe just 5. But still. My dad is going to be my date so I'm sure he doesn't care either way, but I care, damnit. I want to be the prettiest princess at the ball.

The ice cream truck is on my street right now as I type this. Someone is smiting me.

This post sucks. :/

"I'm a blonde little girl

in a fantasy world"

- Aqua "Barbie Girl" -

when the pigs try to get at ya, park it like it's hot

Hey you! You're in luck! I happen to have a 1974 Plymouth Duster for sale, which is, like, exactly the project car you have been looking for!

Check it out on Craigslist:

https:​/​/​accounts.​craigslist.​org/​post/​shwpst?​pii=​1125895120&​db=​lv

And I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I really, really want to get rid of this car, and I will take any reasonable offer (and maybe even unreasonable ones). Not because there is something wrong with it, it's just that when I bought it (in 2007) I had some crazy idea that I'd restore the thing into a beautiful Mopar masterpiece. I don't even know how to change a tire. I'm clearly an idiot. So now the thing is just sitting there and I will in all likelihood never restore it (who was I kidding, really).

So please buy my car! If it's not something you're into, tell your friends! The mailman! Your proctologist!

"I'm a gangsta, but y'all knew that"

- Snoop Dog "Drop It Like It's Hot" -

can't read my, can't read my

Some random things Wikipedia has recently helped me out with:

Amy Fisher - Andy Warhol - Buddy Jesus - bukkake - clove of garlic - cougar - deus ex machina - Dr. Jekyl - Eastern State Penitentiary - Edgar Allan Poe - feed - Fred Weasley - General Hospital - Graves' Disease - Harlem Globetrotters - harlequin - I Can't Believe It's Not Butter - Ione Skye - Jaws 3 - Juneteenth - Kristen Bell - Kurt Warner - lamaze - Lizzie Bordon - MC Hammer - monkey frog - New Kids on the Block - non-canon - Ohio - Oz - Power Rangers - price fixing - Queens of the Stone Age - quinoa - Rainn Wilson - Riesling - ShamWow! - spinal bifida - Tay-Sachs disease - tzatziki - underground - ulna - Veronica Mars - voyeur - WB - When Harry Met Sally- Yehe Nara - yuppie - Zodiac Killer

Thankfully Tree's MacBook saves all the form entries on Wikipedia, allowing me to be reminded of how embarrassing I am.

"check this hand, cause I'm marvelous"

- Lady GaGa "Poker Face" -

if you want to be a hero, well just follow me

Easter at the Blue House

April 12, 2009

Appetizers

--------------------

Stuffed Mushrooms

Something Else Cool

Main Course

--------------------

Slaughtered Pig = :(

General Tso's Tofu = :)

Sides

--------------------

Colcannon

Boring Mashed Potatoes For People Who Hate Colcannon

Green Bean Casserole

Roasted Sweet Potatoes

Acorn Squash

Something With Carrots

Irish Soda Bread

Dessert

--------------------

Janine's Famous Lady Finger Cake

Assorted Cookies / Brownies

Something Else Cool, With Chocolate

Beverages

--------------------

Apple Juice

Soy Milk

Diet Coke

Sam Adams Boston Lager

Magic Hat #9

Malibu Bay Breeze

Or, BYOB

- John Lennon "Working Class Hero" -

we could live like jack and sally if we want

you know what? FUCK prince charming, AND his fucking horse, AND the fucking castle.

VIP, you still wanna know my fantasy?

i want a '79 ford pickup, powder blue with rust spots, and a broken tail light. i want to smoke my marlboro lights with the window rolled all the way down, year round... lots of sunshine, to match my hair. no more fucking rain clouds. and NO SNOW, ever! i want to listen to the eagles in the TAPE DECK and rock out, even at red lights when people driving next to me stare at me singing, and not give a shit. i want a loud exhaust, so everyone notices me drive by. i want to pump my own gas in a sundress and flip flops.

i want a guy who doesn't give a shit about my truck, or about cars in general. who offers to pump my gas for me. a guy who gives me goosebumps. i wanted faded blue jeans and a plain white tee on a slender but muscular frame. and work boots. maybe. taller than me. light eyes and short hair, an infectious smile. 

big hands, but gentle, capable of a good massage. clean fingernails, left handed.

i want a guy who whistles and who isn't afraid to sing. a guy who is happy more often than sad. who lets me take his picture. a guy who loves chocolate as much as i do and likes wasting a sunny saturday on the couch watching tv.

i want a guy i can ride a harley with, a guy who doesn't mind getting lost with me. a guy who lets me wear his shirts to bed and use his razor in the shower. who isn't afraid of sexuality. i want to make love on flannel sheets, no candles or rose petals, just some music in the background. lips all over me, fingers in my mouth. i want to cuddle when we're done and fall asleep curled together.

i want to talk about life and taking over the world and time travel at our kitchen table over a cup of starbucks coffee. i want him to call me princess, and i want to know i'm his number one.

i want a second floor apartment, small, but MY OWN. dark blue carpeting in my bedroom. granite tile in the kitchen, wooden cabinets stained golden brown. lots of windows. i want a high-pressure shower with glass doors and a seat inside, and a black radio on the counter. i want a fridge with an ice-maker on the door, and inside, a 6-pack of smirnoff ice. a nice set of china and stainless steel silverware. i want a little yard with healthy, green grass, and i want to walk through it barefoot. and when i come home from work, i want a grey and white cat named Basil to jump off the couch and rub against my leg.

hmmm.

where's my life going? and how do i get there? i just wanna be happy.

i need to RELAX!!!

"and we'll have halloween on christmas"

- Blink 182 "I Miss You" -

her dizzy head is conscience laden

newton's third law state that for every action there is an equal and/or opposite reaction. funny, sitting in my 10th grade science class, it didn't quite mean the same thing to me. consequences.

i believe in karma. "...for every even that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first, and this second event will be pleasant or unpleasant according as its cause was skillful or unskillful..." by skillful, it means without craving, resistance, or delusion.

without CRAVING? without lust? or greed? without selfishness? fantasies? LOVE? in that case, i'm guilty. my morals have fallen away. i'm acting solely in the pursuit of happiness, whether that be in my *best interest* or not. in fact, i'm probably insane for what i'm doing. but go ahead and ask me if i care.

it's easy to make... shall we say, unconventional... decision when you have nothing to lose. i've been told by more than a few people that i'm throwing my life away. WHAT LIFE? what is life? what is life when you are miserable, working a job that doesn't excite you, surrounded by friends who don't care about you, and a man who no longer loves you but only wants to control you? a family that abandoned you? it's not fucking worth it. i'm not "sacrificing" ANYTHING. no ties to massachusetts. so why not try something new? even if it all falls apart once i get there (wherever *there* ends up being... california or alabama or idaho or morocco or the moon...), what will i have lost? nothing, but gained an education, both in college and in the life variety. 

i want to learn from him. i think he has a lot to offer. he makes me WANT to be a better person, but by giving me the choice, not by forcing. no handcuffs, no ball-and-chain.

like a butterfly riding the breeze...

he said... "well, if you two want it bad enough, you'll find a way to make it work."

ask me how much packing i got done tonight...

- Stone Temple Pilots "Big Empty" -